


The Oblivious and the Obvious

by EarpingHaught81



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7626190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarpingHaught81/pseuds/EarpingHaught81
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's time to put oblivious Wynonna to the test does she pass or fail? Will WayHaught get caught or slip one over on her?<br/>Read on to find out...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Oblivious and the Obvious

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mandy and Amie mah Earp crew who encourage me to write and share](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Mandy+and+Amie+mah+Earp+crew+who+encourage+me+to+write+and+share).



> So this is a 180 from my last fic and it's mostly fluff. It was inspired by an idea (not my own, I don't take credit for the idea that was all Amie I just gave it a little life) about oblivious Wynonna catching Wave in Haught's uniform shirt. As with everything I write I let the characters take control and I just follow them through the story. This was no different so it didn't go quite as planned and alas that particular scene didn't make it into this one. But never fear because it'll get into a future story. Anyway I hope this is just as good and ya'll like it.

“Please Dolls if Waverly was seeing someone I would know.” The heels of Wynonna’s boots clopped on the old wood of the porch as she climbed the stairs. “I’m not only her sister but I’m also a super sleuth with the BBD.”

Dolls flashed her an ‘are you serious look’. “Earp I think your detective skills could use some work. Sometimes I’m not sure you could detect your way out of a paper bag.”

She snorted at him twisting the knob. “Please I’m like Sherlock and Jessica Fletcher rolled into one. Nothing gets by me.” She pushed the door open those perfectly sculpted brows furrowing. “What the sweet hell…why is there underwear hanging from the lamp?”

“Huh.” Dolls stepped up next to her trying to hide his very un-Dolls like smirk. “This looks like a job for super sleuth. Okay Earp start detecting show me those skills.” He crossed his arms over his chest waiting.

She stepped further into the house. “Well first of all I think the washing machine upchucked all over the living room. Geez who knew Waverly was such a slob…I think out of everything I’m proudest of this.” She took a few more steps craning her neck to peek over the couch. “Great she ate all the corn chips. I was planning to do that later.”

“That’s the first thing you notice?” He shook his head.

“Well, yeah. When it comes to donuts and corn chips I have super spidey sense. Get with the program here Dolls.” She slapped the back of her hand to his chest. “For a super special agent you seem kind of oblivious.”

“Focus Earp I need you on your game and this is good training.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I was hella good at finding Waldo. He was a wily little bastard but I nailed him every time.”

“This isn’t a children’s book. One day you might come across a scene just like this and the only way to save a life is to find the clues. That life could be Doc’s or mine or even your sister’s. You need to learn what to look for and how to read what it’s telling you. Sniff ‘em out.”

“What am I a dog?” She held a finger up and without turning to look at him. “I swear if you make a Scooby joke I’ll shove those snacks up your ass.”

“Promises, promises Earp.”

She faltered a little nearly tripping over something in her shock. “This so isn’t mine.” She bent to pick up the boot. “This is a dude boot. A dude with small feet. That doesn’t say much about the size of his p-”

“Earp.” He cut her off.

She turned smirking at him. “What? I was gonna say paycheck. Have you seen these?” She held it up shaking it at him. “Not designer. I’ve seen horses with fancier shoes.”

“Drop the boot and tell me what else you see.”

She opened her hand letting it fall to the floor with a light thud. “Fiiiiine.” She rolled her eyes at him before scanning the room slowly. They came to rest on the mantle. “No.” She shook her head. “I told her no pink.”

Dolls’ eyes followed her as she crossed the room. “What is it?”

She picked up the item like it had personally offended her. “It’s a little pink unicorn with a rainbow shooting out of its ass. I dig the ass-bow but the rest has got to go.” She shuddered placing it back down.

“I think you might be missing the obvious here. What’s out of place? What’s here that doesn’t belong?” His eyes landed on an array of items that told him exactly what was going on. And with who.

“I noticed that hot chick standing over there and damn she’s hella sexy…oh that’s just my reflection.” She put a hand to her chest flashing him a dimple laden smile. “I’m so hot I distract myself.”

“You’re infuriating you do know that right?” He sighed shaking his head.

“The ability to infuriate at will came free when I ordered the snark. Pretty sweet deal don’t ya think?”

“I think you should return them both for a full refund I think you got ripped off.”

“Eh.” She shrugged. “You’re getting the hang of this but you need more practice to get on my level. I’ll help you work on it.” She patted his shoulder as she moved around him.

“Okay Earp get serious. In the last three minutes I’ve managed to piece together the whole scenario. You’ve managed to find an empty corn chip bag, a boot, a unicorn and your own reflection.”

“Hey I’m just warming up wait until I really start rolling then it’s get on board or get run over.”

“Somehow I’m not worried. I've seen little old ladies with walkers move faster than you.”

Meanwhile upstairs…

“Did you hear that?” Waverly pulled the sheet up to her chin clutching it.

“Hear what?” Nicole smiled at her all dimples and sunshine. “All I hear is the sound of my own heart beatin’ out of my chest.” She rolled over kissing her way down Waverly’s neck.

“Nicole I heard something downstairs. Like a thud and voices I think someone’s here.”

“It’s probably just your sister.”

“Wynonna and Dolls are out on a case and Doc is doing, whatever Doc does.” She waved her hand around.

“Do you want me to go check? I am a cop you know and I’m armed.” She smirked at her.

“God that’s sexy.” She melted at the stare Nicole was flashing at her. “But no it could be…anything and I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Again, Wave, I’m a cop it’s kind of literally my job to face down danger. I can handle myself.”

“Why…” She shook her head throwing herself on top of the redhead and kissing her senseless. “Do you have to say things like that?” She pried her lips away.

“Because it’s true and when I do you do things like that.” She laughed. “Stay here I’ll be right back.” She slid from the bed. “Shit, Wave, all of my clothes are downstairs. I can’t confront danger in my birthday suit.”

“Why not it would certainly distract them enough for you to get the upper hand.” She smiled radiantly. “It certainly distracts me into incoherence.”

“That was the plan baby.” She leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips. “I guess I’ll just go in your bathrobe. God I hope it’s your sister otherwise this is gonna make for a very embarrassing report.”

She grabbed the much too short robe sliding it over her shoulders. “Well I guess neither one of us will be doubling our wardrobe.” She cinched the belt tugging at the material just barely dropping below her ass.

“That’s okay I like you better wearing nothing at all. It’s my favorite outfit.”

“You’re terrible Waverly Earp don’t ever change.” She smiled pointing to the corner. “You mind? My gun belt also happens to be downstairs.”

Before Waverly could answer her the sound of feet climbing the stairs reached them. She looked wide eyed at Nicole mouthing the words ‘someone’s coming’. Nicole nodded grabbed the shotgun and cocked it all in one fluid motion. Behind her she heard ‘god that’s sexy’ muttered quietly and she had to smile again. She shook her head to clear it. Waverly Earp was one hell of a distraction and she couldn’t afford that right now. She had to be in Officer Haught mode not Waverly’s girlfriend mode. She smiled again at the thought grunting to herself to snap out of it. She cracked the door just enough to see. There was no movement but she most certainly heard voices.

“Wait!” Waverly loud whispered. “Do you hear that?”

Nicole stuck her head through the door. “Yeah.” She placed the gun back in the corner. “It’s Wynonna and Dolls and he sounds annoyed. Your sister sure does have a way with people.” She paused long enough to notice the look of panic on Waverly’s face. “Baby, what is it?”

“I haven’t….she doesn’t…” She sighed dropping her eyes to stare at her fidgeting hands. “I haven’t told her yet…about me…us.” She picked her eyes back up seeing exactly what she thought she would see. Hurt and disappointment. “I want to Nicole, I really do but-”

“I understand Wave it’s okay.” She sighed. “What do you want me to do hide in the closet?”

“No…yes? No.” She shook her head. “You stay here I’ll go meet them before they can get to the door.” She jumped from the bed throwing on clothes and kissed Nicole as she ran out the door. “I’ll get them outside so you can go grab your stuff.”

“Well okay I’ll guess I’ll just wait here for God knows how long.” She sunk onto the bed. “Why do I feel like I’m back in high school?”

She met them as they were stopped mid-way up the stairs. “Hey guys.” She smiled a little too brightly and her voice was pitched higher than normal. “I thought you were out on a case?”

“We were.” Wynonna looked up at her. “Bagged, tagged, sent back to hell. It’s kinda my thing.” She shrugged. “I thought you were in researcher mode I wasn’t expecting you home till later.”

“Yeah I uh…the library was closed yeah it was closed for uh…repairs something about a leaky roof.”

Dolls cocked an eyebrow at her. “Leaky roof huh? Yeah with all the rain Purgatory gets I can imagine that was a priority.”

She couldn’t tell if Dolls was mocking her or not. He was hard to read. And not usually good with humor. “Anyway so yeah, leaky roof I thought I would work from here.”

“It doesn’t seem like there was any work getting done babygirl. It looks like a tornado ripped through the homestead. So, who ya got up there? And please tell me it’s not Champ.”

“No.” She shook her head. “Not Champ. When I said we were over I meant it.”

“Good because that guy was a serious douche canoe.” She paused looking past her sister at the sound of a quiet thud. “But there is someone up there.” She smirked. “Do I get to meet him because I really wanna do my scary big sister thing.”

“Wynonna all you have to do is look at people and you scare them if you give a speech you’ll send them to the morgue.”

“Huh I’m literally ‘if looks could kill’. I’ll have to put that on my resume. Can kill with a single look, I’ll bet Black Badge loves stuff like that.”

“Come on Earp I think Waverly has things handled here.”

“Oh no way not until I know who’s been knockin’ ugly footwear with my sister.”

“Wynonna no…” She put a hand out as her sister passed her but pulled it back and followed her. “It’s no one really.” Her heart jumped into her throat as she pushed through the door.

“What’d ya do throw him out the window?” she chucked a thumb in the direction of said window.

“Huh?” She looked around her sister into the empty room. “What the…”

Meanwhile outside the window…

“Okay Nicole this isn’t your brightest idea ever.” She held on for dear life to the drain pipe. “Oh yeah, lets climb out the window and shimmy down the teeny tiny pipe in nothing but a teeny tiny bathrobe. Jesus I feel like a fifteen year old boy afraid to get caught in the pretty girl’s room when her parents come home early.”

She inched her way lower hoping like hell no one decided to check out the window. She would never live this down.

“How do I get myself into these situations?” She slid lower. “Nicole Haught this is the last time you do this. Next time you get naked with Waverly Earp wait until you’re in the bedroom to lose your clothes.”

Her bare feet hit the ground and she slunk around the house. Of all the things she thought she would use her training for she never thought it would be to sneak into a house to retrieve her own clothes. And wearing a much too short pink bathrobe to boot. This was not her finest moment.

Meanwhile back inside…

“Earp let’s get a move on we have things to do. Remember those revenants wreaking havoc in Purgatory? They aren’t going to take a break while you pry into your sister’s love life.”

“Fiiiiiine.” She turned with a dramatic sigh. “And I’m not prying I’m detecting. And you better pick up donuts on the way back to the office.”

“Powdered and sprinkled I know.”

“Aww Dolls you do care.”

The door opened and closed below him. “I’ll give you a minute and meet you out front.” He turned without another word and disappeared down the stairs.

“That dude is so weird.” Wynonna shook her head.

“Officer Haught.” He said quietly so he wouldn’t be heard by the Earp sisters. “Nice robe.”

She froze. Like a statue. Mid bend. “Deputy Marshall Dolls.” She sprang upright pulling at the fabric. “I was just uh…and my uniform…there was a uh…and I needed…Waverly was kind enough…”

“Uh huh.” He smiled. “Let me guess you spilled coffee on your uniform? And Ms. Earp was kind enough and lent you the use of her washing machine?” He picked her pants up off the floor and tossed them over.

“Would you arrested me if I said you bein’ nice is kinda terrifying?”

“It’s throwing you off isn’t it?” He paused raising a brow. “Good.” And that was all he said before he disappeared out the front door.

She scrambled around trying to locate all of her quickly discarded clothes. “One of these days Nicole.” She mumbled to herself as she pulled on her pants. “Next time we do this at my place.”

“You know you can tell me Waves you can’t go lower than Champ the chump.” She followed her sister down the stairs.

“Please Wynonna can you just drop it for now?” She reached the last step turning to look up at her. “When I’m ready I’ll tell you everything but right now it’s so new and I just…I don’t want to mess this up.”

“Wow kid you got it bad don’t ya? He must be hella good in bed.”

Her ears tinged pink. “Hella good is the understatement of understatements.” Her whole face went red as she turned and caught Nicole smirking at her from just outside the front door.

“Hiya Haught-pants what brings you by?” Wynonna brightened. “How’s my new drinking buddy doing?” She crossed and swung the door open letting her step inside.

“Wait…” Waverly stopped Nicole from answering looking at Wynonna. “When did you two drink together?”

“Oh the night you scissored a stripper. We drank, got the shit scared out of us by Doctor Murder and investigated a creepy corpse. Good times man, good times. Anyway Haught-ass what’s up?”

“I had a call just a few miles down the road and thought while I was in the area I’d make a house call, make sure everything was alright. So nothing out of the ordinary happenin’?”

“Nope just your usual hooligans defiling the mailbox.”

“Well okay then.” She shuffled on her feet. “I guess I’ll be on my way back to the office.” She tipped her hat to them. “Wynonna, Waverly.” She turned quickly letting herself back out. It was all she could do to not huff and puff after her lightning sprint out the back door and around to the front to greet them.

“She _had a call_.” Wynonna air quoted. “Yeah I’ll bet she did, a booty call. Did you notice she missed like two buttons on her shirt? And didn’t even say anything about my cute nicknames. That must’ve been some _call_.” She air quoted again.

“Wynonna.” Waverly huffed. “I think Dolls is waiting for you and you know he hates to wait.”

“Okay, okay I get it.” She held her hands up. “But you’re telling me who it is soon.” She pointed at her. “And I want to meet him make sure he’s good enough for you. Although no one will ever be good enough for my baby sister.” She headed for the door but stopped and turned. “Hey you know maybe you should give Officer Haughty McHaught a shot she’s good people. Plus, she’s armed. Just a thought.” She shrugged.

“Wynonna?” Waverly called to her just before the door shut. “I love you.”

“Right back at ya babygirl.” She winked shutting the door. She descended the stairs strolling to meet Dolls who was talking to Nicole. “Hey there Haught-shot can I talk to you for a second?” She chucked her head at the porch.

“Uh…” Her eyes bounced around looking for someone to save her. “Sure?” She followed behind her noticing Waverly watching them from the door. “Do you need something?”

“No just wanted to give these back.” She pulled a scrap of fabric from her jacket pocket. “I’m not as oblivious as everyone thinks I am. These aren't my style and they aren't Waverly's either. And next time please don’t adorn my lamp with your underwear it prefers bras.”

Nicole stared at her. “I didn’t…we weren’t…Wave…and I didn’t…she wasn’t…damn it.”

“It’s okay Nicole I get it. Waverly wasn’t ready and you didn’t want to push her that’s why I like you. Plus you’re armed and I know you would protect her like I would.”

“I’d do anything to keep her safe.” She smiled her eyes catching Waverly’s.

“Ugh too soon for that.” She waved a hand. “I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Keep it in your pants Haught I like ya but she’s still my baby sister.”

“Right.” She cleared her throat bobbing her head. “Gotcha.”

“Oh and one more thing.” She called walking backwards. “If you’re going to pretend you just got here you probably shouldn’t have left your cruiser parked in plain sight.” She chucked her thumb at the car. “Just a thought.”

“Shit.” Nicole muttered. “Didn’t think of that one.”

Waverly opened the door and stepped out. “Nicole?”

“I left the damn cruiser in the middle of the yard. She knew I was here the whole time. I crawled down a drainpipe with one hell of a breeze blowin’ up my backside for nothing.”

Waverly laughed at her. “It was sweet though, very chivalrous of you.”

“Well ma’am it’s my duty to help those in distress.”

“Well I’m in distress right now will you help me?”

“Tell me what I can do to help.” She pulled Waverly into her arms. “It’s my duty after all.” She smiled her dimples in full force.

“I need a certain Officer of the law to kiss me.”

“Well now I can’t refuse that request can I?” She dipped her head capturing lips in a soft kiss.

“And one more thing.”

They jumped at the sound of Wynonna’s voice right next to them.

“If you ever hurt her Haught-stuff I know where you work and where you live. Remember that.” She motioned with her fingers from her eyes to Nicole’s. “And you’re not the only one who’s armed.”

“Wynonna that’s not necessary.” Waverly sighed.

“I know but I had to do it I’m your big sister it’s my job. But I’m also dead serious, we have a lot of land they’d never find you.”

“Earp!” Dolls called. “Let’s go we got a call.”

Wynonna waved at him turning back. “Please don’t defile the couch I sleep on that thing.” She paused at the looks on their faces. “You already did oh gross I don’t wanna know.” She removed herself quickly from the porch without another word.

Waverly grimaced. “We probably shouldn’t tell her about the barn.”

“Or the kitchen table.” Nicole added.

“Or the kitchen counter.”

“Or the kitchen floor.”

“The living room floor. Yeeeeaaaah probably best to keep that to ourselves.”

“There’s one place we can defile that she has no say over.” She chucked her head towards the cruiser.

“Nicole Haught I believe that is most definitely against regulations.”

“What Nedley doesn’t know...” She pulled Waverly behind her the tiny woman laughing as they crossed the yard. She stopped, pulling her into her arms again. “I plan to marry you someday Waverly Earp.”

“And I plan to say yes.” She stood on her toes wrapping her arms around the smiling redhead’s neck. “How did I get so lucky?”

“I ask myself that question every day.” She dipped her head kissing her softly before pulling away to look into her eyes. “Are you sure you’re not a dream?”

“Let’s find out.” She stepped out of the embrace and opened the cruiser door.

Meanwhile in Dolls’ SUV…

“Hey.” Wynonna said. “Remind me the next I need a ride anywhere not to call Haught-to-trot.” She shuddered as she pulled her eyes away from the side mirror as they slid into the cruiser.

Dolls smiled at her. “Not as oblivious as I thought Earp.” He pulled out of the yard. “We just might make a decent BBD agent out of you yet.”

“Does that mean I get a flamethrower?” She shuddered again. “Because I think I might have to torch the homestead.”


End file.
